10.26.23 You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him poop.

WTF is up with this blog post title?

WORMS. Thats what.

Horses are always with worms, just like our skin will always have bacteria on it. But deworming horses is important, and understanding the health of your herd is too.

This is where the POO comes in.

My horse Tracker gets itchy on the dock of his tail and rubs it on the fence, creating a funky looking mullet aesthetic. Now, I don’t know if worms are the cause. It could be allergies, or boredom, too.

Feed me! Exercise me! Clean up after me! Trim my hooves! Study my sheit!!!!

Another thing I’ve noticed is my horses leaving slobbery bite marks on their sides, near their flanks. This can be a sign of intestinal parasites. Again, there can be other causes including: flies, dermatitis, and worst-case— colic.

So I got down in a deep research hole. The “Horse Owners Vereinary Handbook” by James M Giffin and Tom Gore had plenty of information and considerations for me to dive into.

The book that indulges my inner scientist

I also called the vet to ask him about a fecal egg count. This is a lab test where eggs are quantified in the stool. In some areas and at some facilities, this is a regular part of herd and barn maintenence– running a FEC at least once a year but possibly more frequently, depending on findings.

Fecal egg count gives an idea of whether horses are high, moderate, or low shedders. There’s no way of eliminating worms in horses, but with that being said, 5 classes of deworming agents exist with the ability to knock down parasitic numbers and parasitic burden in these beast-goblins we call horses. (Can these agents be used for covid? I won’t even go there!)

Deworming agents and the helminths they kill.

Those worms can really do a number on a horses health in the short and long run. Some worms can cause cardiovascular disease. And more commonly, they can just eat all the nutrients you’re feeding your horse and cause nutrient deficiencies. In the stomach and GI tract, these buggers can cause decreased nutrient absorption and unfortunately even colic.

Anyways, I decided I want a fecal egg count on my horses before I administer their autumn dewormer. Mostly for curiosity, and also for “education”. The more you know,… you know?

I found that the New Mexico Dept of Agriculture has a lab that does FOCs for $26a pop. That’ll be 78$ for all 3 horses, plus shipping etc.

Requisition form to supply with the poo.

The specimens need to be collected within an hour of their proverbial dumping, sealed in an air tight bag, and mailed on ice.

Breastmilk bags shall hold the nuggets of turd-gold

I’ve collected nuggets from ASAP and Nitro (which are waiting patiently and disgustingly in my household fridge at the moment) and even spent 5 hours meticulously cleaning their paddocks so I know exactly when a fresh turd drops to the ground.

The problem is… Tracker won’t poop!

I separated the horses, and have been waiting for 4 hours now, and Tracker hasn’t had the decency to drop a big deuce for my scientific endeavors. RUDE.

I’ve coaxed him, walked him, told him he’s the prettiest, bravest, smartest pooping horse in the world, but he STILL WON’T POOP!!!

Hi, I’m Tracker and I’m too cool to poop.

So I guess the old adage is really IS true: you can gather supplies, write requisition forms, clean paddocks, put poo in the fridge, get turd-parcels prepped to go to albuquerque, but in the end: you can’t make a horse poop.